Wednesday 15 January 2020

Kirism, Dare You Design Your Own Personal Philosophy?

I ended 2019 and entered 2020 in a new playgroup called Kirism. The invitation to every hero is to design your own destiny by designing your own philosophy.... instead of living by default.

What are you choosing? Destiny by Design or Destiny by Default?



This blog is going to be more a personal tracker, my Creative Change Chronicles... I will chronicle some of my heroic journey to get clarity about my philosophy and how I can live it every single day of my life.

It's going to be a bit chaotic, a lot messy and at the same time, provocative, prolific and passionate... that is the kind of writer I am. It's going to be in the immediacy of my experience, a huge challenge and adventure... so pretty is not going to be of supreme importance!

About Kirism

We started the journey with daily check ins, for 2 weeks, where anything goes as we all started getting familiar with the work. To download all 12 books of volume 1 of KIRISM, click here. These come in PDF and also in audio recordings... yes, all for free.

https://kirism.com/

This is how the founder of Kirism, Eric Maisel, renown Creativity Coach, outlines it:

Welcome to the home of kirism,
a new philosophy of life.

Kirism is based on our updated understanding of human nature and the challenges of living. For a philosophy to make sense to you, it must move out of the shadows cast by the dinosaur philosophies and religions of old and illuminate your current reality. Kirism does that.
A contemporary philosophy of life has to take a lot into account. How meaning works. The difference between life purpose and life purposes. The realities of work. The high bar tasks of self-obligation and self-authorship. The challenges of culture and society. What ethical action looks like. And much more.

Kirism does that intricate work. It is fresh, pertinent and useful. If no philosophy or religion has made enough sense to you, take a look at kirism and see what you think. Kirism is a vital philosophy designed to meet today’s challenges. Come see how much you’ll benefit when you make time for kirism, a philosophy of life that makes sense.


To learn more about kirism, visit our FAQ page or dive right in and begin reading.


Friday 27 September 2013

The Expat S/hero's Journey


The Expat's Way in 3 Acts and an ongoing, everyday Celebration!


There are two ways to live; you can live as if nothing is a miracle, or you can live as if everything is a miracle. ~Albert Einstein

My ongoing project is writing The Expat's Way. I am currently working on the second edition as well as a sketchnote collection to support the 4 workshops that have grown into and out of the book.

The Heart's Call
At Home Wherever You Are
On Top of the World
Celebration (everyday is a celebration)


Tuesday 7 May 2013

7 Reasons Why Connection With Self and Others Is So Important


Some of the basic needs of childhood are love and emotional connection. When we receive these, we learn to feel worthy and lovable. Many of us grow up without these needs being adequately met. This lack of connection can have far-reaching physical and psychological consequences for us. (For extensive research on these consequences, see Why Love Mattersby Sue Gerhardt.)
Not experiencing loving connection as a child can lead to feeling a deep yearning in adulthood. Unfortunately, trying to get this connection from others, rather than learning to connect with ourselves and others, can lead to many personal and relationship problems.
In my work with clients, I focus on helping them, first and foremost, connect with themselves -- with their feelings and their higher self/personal source of spiritual guidance. Here's why:
1. An Inner Black Hole vs. Inner Fulfillment
When we are disconnected from ourselves -- from who we really are and from our feelings -- and when we are not filling ourselves with love through our spiritual connection, we create a black hole within. The black hole we've created through our self-abandonment becomes like a vacuum, trying to pull love from others. This neediness tends to push people away, so we end up feeling even more unloved.
When we want responsibility for our own well-being and we open to learning about loving ourselves, we open the door to connecting with an infinite source of love. Learning to bring this love within and share it with others creates deep inner fulfillment.
2. Failed Relationships vs. Sharing Love
Since we come together at our common level of self-abandonment and our common level of self-love, if we are abandoning ourselves by disconnecting from ourselves and avoiding responsibility for our feelings, we will likely attract someone who is doing the same thing. Each partner hopes that the other will fill the black hole within. While they might seem to do this for each other for a short time, eventually each feels unloved and resentful, leading to relationship failure. We cannot fill up another person. We each need to do this for ourselves, and then share our love with each other. We cannot connect on a deep level of love with each other when we are not connected with ourselves.
In my experience, sharing love with another who is also filled up with love and sharing it, is the most fulfilling and joyful experience in life. Do not confuse getting love with sharing love -- they are light years apart!
3. Depression and Loneliness vs. Happiness and Joy
Depression is a huge problem in our society. While there are many causes for feelings of depression, one of the causes is disconnection from self -- self-abandonment. Just as a child gets depressed when the parent is disconnected and unavailable, so our inner child -- our feeling self -- gets depressed when we are disconnected from our feelings and not taking loving responsibility for them.
Another cause of depressed feelings is social isolation and the resulting loneliness, which is often one of the results of disconnecting from ourselves and then being unable to connect with others.
The film Happy takes us on a trip around the world to the happiest people on the planet. Invariably, these are people who live in communities where they feel connected with each other. They feel safe because they watch out for each other. They are not lonely.
However, many people who have tried to establish connected or intentional communities end up leaving them for the same reason they leave marriages: They don't work unless people are connected with themselves and taking responsibility for their own feelings.
4. Physical Illness vs. Physical Health
Stress is a major cause of illness (see The Biology of Belief by Dr. Bruce Lipton). When we live our lives disconnected from ourselves -- not listening to and taking loving care of our feelings -- and disconnected from our personal source of guidance, love and comfort, we cannot manage stress well. Self-abandonment itself causes much anxiety and stress, which activates the fight-or-flight response and negatively affects ourimmune system.
There is some indication, according to Malcolm Gladwell in Outliers, that people who live in connected communities are far healthier than those who live in a more isolated way. Connection with self and others is vital for good health.
5. Addictions vs. Self-Regulation
When we have not learned how to connect with our feelings and with the love and comfort of our spiritual guidance, we often turn to addictions as a way of managing painful feelings. In order to be able to manage and regulate our feelings in healthy ways, we need to connect with them with a desire to take loving responsibility for them. Turning to addictive behavior is a form of self-abandonment -- a way of avoiding responsibility for our feelings -- and can lead to many negative consequences.
6. Violence vs. Compassion
When we have not learned how to fully feel our painful feelings, compassionately managing them, learning from them and then releasing them, we may lose touch with our humanity. It is the inability to manage pain that can lead to destructive and self-destructive behavior. When we cannot connect with and feel compassion for our own feelings, we may lose our ability to feel compassion for others. When this occurs, we can act out in violently harmful ways.
7. Boredom vs. Passion and Creativity
Our passion and creativity thrive through our connection with our feelings and with our spiritual guidance. When we disconnect from our feelings to protect against pain, we also shut out joy, creativity and passion. Life becomes flat, pointless and boring. Love and joy live in the same place in the heart as loneliness and heartbreak. When we shut down, trying to not feel our loneliness and heartbreak, we also shut down our ability to feel love and joy. This is a very sad way to live.
You don't have to live this way. You can learn to connect within. You can learn to move your focus from outer -- trying to get love and connection from others -- to inner, truly loving yourself and others. You can learn to shift from avoiding feeling your painful feelings to compassionately embracing them with a desire to learn about what they are telling you. You can learn to take loving care of yourself and experience the deep joy of sharing your love with others.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a relationship expert, best-selling author, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® self-healing process, recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette, and featured on Oprah. To begin learning how to love and connect with yourself so that you can connect with others, take advantage of our free Inner Bonding eCourse, receive Free Help, and take our 12-Week eCourse, "The Intimate Relationship Toolbox" - the first two weeks are free! Discover SelfQuest®, a transformational self-healing/conflict resolution computer program. Phone or Skype sessions with Dr. Margaret Paul.

Connect with Margaret on Facebook: Inner Bonding, and Facebook: SelfQuest.
Reblogged from Huffington Post: Read the original blogpost here 7 Reasons Why Connection With Self and Others Is So Important...

Wednesday 3 October 2012

Change is a Miracle Workshop


Begin with the miracle question because change is a miracle.

What if a miracle happened when you were asleep. Now that you are awake, you notice that a miracle has happened...

Read more about the miracle question here...

Visit Cycles of Change Coaching for inspiration and resources on integrated living, click here.

For more on the Change Is A Miracle Workshop, click here...

Thursday 2 August 2012

Burden to Blessing


Have you recently experienced a crisis, an obstacle or felt unjustly challenged in some way? What did you tell yourself about what was happening? Did you feel angry, frustrated, wronged and/or helpless? Did your self-talk reflect sentiments such as: ”How can this happen to me?” or “I am sick and tired” and/or “I just can’t do this anymore”?
Did it seem like it was the end of the world? I remember when my son was two years old and if he dropped something, he would get frustrated and upset with himself. To comfort him, I would often say: “It’s not the end of the world darling”. Then one day, I dropped something and must have over-reacted or been visibly upset. Imagine this sweet angel of a two year old putting his little arm around me and patting me saying: “Mommy, it’s not the end of the world mommy”. That was a wake up call to me. Since then, I have become better and better at putting things into perspective and not sweating the small stuff.
We all have times in our lives where outer circumstances take on the form of crisis, which we may even perceive as threats. We can allow such circumstances to dominate and rule our lives. Resisting what we are faced with can increase our sense of helplessness and lower our sense of well-being until we take the decision to recognize a burden as being a blessing. Such a turnaround begins with a change in perspective. This intention to turn a burden into a blessing is what can and does heal us.
We can train ourselves to see in the obstacle an opportunity – the opportunity is present and you can turn the worst of crisis into the greatest of blessings. Resisting crisis instead of nipping them in the bud means it can drag on for years on end. This is because what we focus on expands and grows, and focusing on how bothered one is, how put out one is, that one is being victimized and helpless, will exacerbate, prolong and grow the burden.
It’s not the outer circumstances that necessarily create the experience of crises. You do not feel gratitude and thankfulness when you are feeling opposed and contradicted, burdened and antagonized. However, you can feel gratitude, thankfulness and a sense of being supported even in the face of contrary circumstances. This capacity to see beyond the obvious and to respond beyond the learned reaction comes from your connection to your inner wisdom – something I often refer to as ones “Heart Call”.
By turning your attention to your inner guidance puts you in touch with your inner compass. This pure wisdom is accessible, available and instantaneous. This inner knowing guides you to your truth, the knowing that a burden can be a blessing. A willingness and openness to look within, where your true power rests helps you regain your balance and feelings of prosperity. There are a countless number of true stories written that hold testimony to the fact that misfortune holds the seeds of fortune, purpose and a meaningful life.
Obstacles and opportunities, burdens and blessings, misfortune and fortune are two sides of the same coin. Burdens are ultimately blessings – the flip side of the coin really. Financial loss, broken relations and more can be seen as slamming doors, however a redirection of your attention, based on your heart’s wisdom will guide you and support you into experiences where windows are open and you can go through them to something better, where loss becomes gain and therefore a blessing in disguise.
Life is a paradox, and so is everything really. With practice and new experience, your reactions make way for responsiveness. You know that you can change your thoughts, you can change the meaning you give to circumstances and events and looking over your life, you will find evidence of when you were able to make the most of a bad situation. Burdens can be seen as blessings and your thoughts are not in contradiction with your true nature. You can change your perceptions over time or you can begin with a new assumption, not the assumption that the burden is the end of the world but rather that the burden has a blessing and when you look for it, you can find it. So, you can begin with thanks, beginning with thanking for your inner wisdom, that you can connect to it and source it, that you have the power to transcend at least in perception, any circumstance. Taking charge of your reactions, you can choose to respond instead, turning to your thankful practices. When you do this, your life will flow better, more joyfully and freely.
What do you stand to lose by thinking that you can even for a few seconds at a time find things to appreciate – even if circumstances stayed the same. There is more to gain from doing this. When you change the way you see things, the things you look at change. You do have a choice, to resist what is or to act more thankfully. You can run your life, sourcing your inner resources rather than abdicating your power to outer factors. You can get into the habit of asking yourself: “The blessing is here, what do I need to let go of to see it?”
The oak often serves as a useful metaphor when we wish to remind ourselves to be resilient. However you have probably heard that what you resist persists, meaning that when confronted by something unwanted, the act of focusing on it and wanting things to be otherwise, just makes matters worse. You may also remember the fable of the willow tree and the oak tree competing with each other, to determine who was stronger than the wind. The oak tree resisted and broke and the willow tree, just went with it and thrived. The moral of the story is “bend like the willow, don’t resist like the oak.” You bending like the willow is remembering to bend your thoughts around the burdens and reach for the blessing that is present.
Many thanks and much Wisdom,

Tuesday 29 May 2012

Be Inspired and Change Something


Be Inspired & Change Something

Have you ever thought about using a coach? Have you ever used one in the past?

Those who have, have found it to be an immensely motivating and validating experience. For 30-90 minutes you are gifted with the focused attention on YOU and on what you want and need! You create the agenda and a coach will help you set the tone.

A coach authentically, and attentively nudges you and helps you shift towards greater congruence between you and your dreams.
  • A coach can help you connect to your mission and vision – showing you that you are never starting from scratch.
  • A coach helps you cultivate your great ideas, which may be hidden in distraction, just a seed waiting for loving attention to flourish! 
  • A coach is a supportive set of "believing" eyes – you know you have a good idea, a coach is a perfect person to bounce things off. Expect genuine feedback and even additional tools to stimilate even more creative ideas and connections.
  • A coach can help you process change and challenges in your life – whether you are facing specific challenges or you are ready to find clarity around things in general.
  • A coach can help you set goals, carry them to completion and embrace greater freedom.

Resources

1. Change is a Miracle, read more...

2. There are many ways to change a habit. This is an excerpt from a blog I wrote 2 months ago on the many ways of changing something...

Excerpt:
"The Power of Habit

I have promoted the power of practice. While I use the terms habit and practice interchangeably, there are slight differences in nuances, which is simply a matter of personal connection/preference.

What do the words habit and practice mean to you?

What is the strange looking puzzle on this page doing there? I enjoy playing with my ideas, playfulness is an attitude that I find powerful and empowering to bring into my practices, no matter what they are.

When you have an idea, you make it happen by turning it into a practice. What does play have to do with it? Practice is a serious business, yet practice to be sustainable, needs to embody "play". I have taken the 7 pivotal points of the Hero's Journey and represented them here as a puzzle.

Imagine playing with this puzzle. When something works for you, my philosophy is "play it forward"... this is the sustainability and appreciation I love to emphasize."

Excerpted from my blog, to read more and experiment with "new" practices and for more links and resources, click here...

Sunday 27 May 2012

Doorways to Love

Golden Doors, Open Doors

If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro' narrow chinks of his cavern.~ William Blake 
The Expat's Way is about coming to your senses. We focus on 10 of them during the 10 week course/path. These too can be seen as the 10 Doorways to Love.

Create your own doorways and walk through them. Which one will you walk through now? possibility? abundance? connection?

Open the door, read more...